Top Tastes

I have been poring through local food writers’ ‘best of’ lists, which is a sure-fire way to stoke the fires of my small-minded and punitive judgmental thinking. But here is something I really and truly am thinking about these days. Since Dara is now gone from City Pages, Ann Bauer and Jeremy Iggers are handling more and more food writing at The Rake and its online little sister, and the Strib has its all-star food-writing lineup set to handle the work load of Taste (and budgets over there being what they are), does this mean that Stephanie March takes the CP gig? Do they let an intern now handle food writing at the alt weekly? And will Jeremy and Ann take over the monthly print job, or is their task to simply fill pages online each day? They must be getting paid to produce a lot of copy, and they have decades of experience between them. Are we to believe they are just going to log on and blog on? Both are savvy writers. Iggers has more of a workmanlike style honed over many years churning copy at the Stribune. Bauer is a very good writer, more of a craftsperson than I will ever be—I am more of a hack. But reading their columns throughout the last month and finally seeing Bauer’s piece touring us through the highlights of her year of eating was the biggest buzz kill of my day. Sample Room? Kinhdo? Coffee News Cafe? Pizza Luce? Atlas Grill? Anne, you need to get out and eat more!

Someone at The Rake needs to send these folks out to dine at the restaurants in town that are really making some noise. Bauer hedges her list in the opening graph, insisting that many list makers are simply showing off when they compile lists or are trying to impress with their breadth of knowledge . . . or both. Uh, yeah. They are, and they should.

Any food writer, dining critic, call it whatever you like, has to be conversant with the vast majority of the eating scene, especially in a city like ours, which has a relatively small number of quality restaurants to become familiar with. What about La Belle Vie, Heartland, and about two dozen other restaurants in town that are kicking ass every meal period? And if small, cheap Asian hybrid joints are more your style, I could name about sixteen places I would recommend to anyone before I would send them to Kinhdo. Anoush Ansari and his Hemisphere partners (Mission/Via/Kabobi/Flame, which is their new restaurant that will open in May 2008) own and operate Atlas, and they are great restaurateurs and know how to run a business. I am sure they are flattered by the nod Bauer threw their way for their salmon, but I think if you asked them, they would name a dozen places with a better piece of sautéed fish than their own Atlas Grill. So, now that I have that off my chest, anyone have some fun food experiences to share? Mine from last year are below, not in order of importance:

Patricia Quintana week at Masa

Heartland on principle and because I love the ‘everything from scratch’ vibe.

Mike Phillips’ Minnesota prosciutto at Craftsman

Brasa for pork and greens and grits

Krakowska at Kramarczuk’s

Foie terrine at Cosmos

Sautéed fish with pickled vegetables at The Teahouse

Quail with pineapple at 20.21 . . . and brunch as well—the smoked salmon alone is worth it.

Almost anything at Peninsula

Morton’s for a salad, a steak, and some creamed spinach

Oysters at Oceanaire

Striped bass at Alma

Everything I ever ate at La Belle Vie, and each time I go there, it gets better and better.

The vegetable sides at 112

Mussels and a wedge of pate at the bar at Vincent

Homestyle tofu at Little Szechuan

Lunch at Que Nha—you can’t go wrong.

Passion fruit and chocolate dessert insanity at Chambers, and its truffle pizza and the ridiculously good galangal dipping sauce

Punch Pizza

Steamed walleye with ginger and scallion at Shuang Cheng

And I am sure I am missing plenty . . . mea culpa. And now that I am back in town for awhile, I cannot wait to check out Heidi’s, Meritage, Nick and Eddie, et al. I need to get up to speed.

Get Out Your Pens and Pencils . . .

Start taking notes; here is a blizzard of news.

As everyone knows (I think), Dara Moskowitz Grumdahl has left City Pages and starts in a few weeks at Minnesota Monthly. According to an online minnpost.com piece by David Brauer, “success comes in phases, but right now, interesting monthly journalism appears on the ascendency.” Brauer points to the rash of new hires at local monthlies, and the Brian Lambert hire over here at mspmag.com. Grumdahl's new responsibilities aren't clearly defined, but in the article, it says she will be doing "60/40 — 60 percent for the magazine, doing all their restaurant coverage, plus a handful of features and cover pages. The other 40 percent of her time will be spent blogging and editing Minnesota Monthly's Real Foods magazine.”

I exchanged an e-mail with Dara yesterday, and she is thrilled to be moving on to greener pastures. This is all great news for local food freaks. Better writers in bigger jobs breeds more competition, which creates more of a market for local and regional food news, food writing, books, restaurants, and so on. The halo effect of all this stuff really works. Everyone wins here.

****

After much rumor-mill grinding that was pumping out news to the contrary, Grant Achatz is cancer free! Fantastic news on many levels. I am still of the opinion that Alinea is one of the most important restaurants in the country, and Grant is also a wonderful human being, and the grace and dignity with which he dealt with his cancer is a testament to that. Check out these links for more from Frank Bruni and from the Tribune.

****

You know that I think turducken is cool, and unless you have tasted a well-made version, you shouldn’t practice contempt prior to investigation. But how about a forty-eight-bird turducken made from twelve different species?

****

OK food editors, this story is an interesting idea, but the Wall Street Journal piece comparing Batali's and Keller's menu calorie counts to McDonald's is specious in the extreme. Why? Because Batali's and Keller's calories don't come from high fructose corn syrup and aren’t compacted into a six-ounce item on a dollar menu. Thoughts, kids?

****

Emeril is done shooting Emeril Live, and there was a great piece on the Food Network written up in The New York Times. Here’s the skinny that you didn’t read: After years and years of making dozens of shows a season, stars, such as Emeril and Mario, get tired of slogging through life carrying five jobs. Networks want to change compensation packages to share in the brands they helped create and deservedly so. Things change, and in Emeril’s case, he did not want to share his outside revenue with FN. He did not need the continuing TV exposure as much as he needed some sleep.

****

Check out the foie gras chitchat inspired by our buddy Tony Bourdain. I am pro-foie in case anyone gives a crap.

****

As my pal Berit likes to say, “Food nerd alert!" Here’s a graphic novel about food.

****

The Year in Food at chow.com is always a good list, and, of course, I am insisting you click on the media section in the middle of the page after you click here. 

****

For those of you who don’t know David Lebovitz, you should. He is the former Chez Panisse pastry chef who lives in Paris and writes some phenomenal books. He has his annual five food terms that should be left behind in 2007 and never brought back.

****

You all know I have a problem with the Zagat guides. Like most of these types of polls, who is actually voting is the core issue. I just was asked to be a judge for the San Pellegrino World's 50 Best Restaurants poll, and the requirements were stringent—you actually have to have dined in the places you vote for.

I just read this on line, and I can't wait to check it out. "We always wondered why Zagat has a monopoly on restaurant surveys. The same thought seems to have occurred to Steve Plotnicki, the man behind the blog Opinionated About Dining. Don't be fooled by OAD's resemblance to the rest of the blogger-with-a-digital-camera food sites. It hosts a very big and very vigorous private forum, whose members will be the backbone of a new book on the top 100 restaurants in America and Europe this March. The OAD members are deep-pocketed diners who eat all over the city, so the book’s core of opinions will be strong. "

****

For years, we have been trying to convince local food producers to create roving food carts in a our Cities since we have no street culture thanks to the Skyways, the winters, the burbs, and so on. We applaud Carrie Summer for diving into the deep end of the pool, and to inspire other restaurateurs to get wet also, check this out. And this one, also. Hmm . . .  David Pasternack doing fish and chips? I love it.

Hot Stuff

Check out The Deal Hunter with Ian Grant, which is making its debut on December 21 at 8:30 p.m. on Travel Channel. Locally produced and featuring local talent, it should be a big hit. My pal John Kitchener wrote, produced, and directed the pilot. He and I worked on an HGTV series for years together, and he is now with Edelman Productions. Ian Grant owns a shop in Minneapolis that sells beautiful and exotic artifacts from around the world. Several times a year, Ian hops on a plane and travels to remote places, such as the rainforests of Southern India or the mountains of Northern Thailand, in search of unusual objects. He then ships these remarkable finds back to the States and sells them to high-end shops and designers throughout the US and around the world.

The show follows Ian on his travels, revealing the best places in the world to find cool stuff, what to avoid, and how to get the best deals. The pilot was shot in NYC; check out the details.

The cool part is that Travel Channel is going to air their first ever "Pilot Week," which begins December 17. After each new show airs, they want people to log on to the Travel Channel website and vote for the shows they like best. Check out Deal Hunter and all the new shows next week, and vote for your faves. I, of course, have a vested interest in all this, so I’ll be voting also. It would be cool if Ian’s show was a big, fat smash and got put on my new night when my second season debuts in March.

****

John Besh, one of the best chefs in the country, had a really good year in 2007. New Orleans restaurant critic (and Minnesota born and bred) Brett Anderson recently named August one of the Top 10 Restaurants and picked Besh’s new restaurant, Lüke, an Alsatian-style brasserie, as one of his Best New Restaurants in The Times-Picayune. The December issue of New Orleans Magazine touted Besh as Chef of the Year, and Lüke was selected as Best New Restaurant. You might remember Besh as the guy who finished second on Iron Chef to Michael Symon from Cleveland’s Lola Bistro. Now I always thought MS would win since the day the lineup was announced; he completely has the Iron Chef vibe. But the food that Besh cooks in his restaurants and the depth of his organization are superb. Besh’s eateries offer top-notch dining. What’s my point? Well, for the folks who have everything and want something different for a gift this holiday season, Besh is now offering off-site catering available anywhere in the country. You heard it here first.

News, Dinner and a Movie, And . . .

Sarah Masters, formerly of Spoonriver, is the new chef at Barbette. So where did the talented, mustard-tossing Landon Schoenfeld go? Well, he didn't go to the Red Stag Supper Club, as many thought many months ago, because William Baskin is the chef there. The rumor mill says Schoenfeld is headed to Porter and Frye to work for Steven Brown.

****

Carrie Summer has her food cart officially test-driven. It made its debut last Friday evening in the Robot Love parking lot on Lyndale serving late-night snacks in the early hours of what was technically Saturday morning. So where and when for this coming weekend? Look for it in the same neighborhood serving pulled pork, chocolate mousse, chili-cheese fries, and, of course, mini doughnuts. On Saturday evening, the cart was in the Grumpy's lot but closed early because of power issues in the cart. The kinks are still being worked out.

****

Looking for something great to do on Thursday evening? The Oak St. Cinema is screening a wonderful film, directed by one of the cameramen on my Travel Channel show. You need to see Joel Weber’s new documentary, The Listening Project. His film, created with Dominic Howes, asks the question “what do you think about America?” Get there earlier than the 7:30 p.m. showtime to make sure you get tickets. Want to eat something before or after the movie? Well, the best of Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s pan-Asian recipes have been compiled in a new book entitled Asian Flavors of Jean-Georges. The black pepper shrimp and dried pineapple recipe is worth its weight in gold. From Vong's Thai Kitchen to Spice Market, 66 to Chambers Kitchen, London’s Rama to Las Vegas’ Prime, JGV’s Asian touches have been his signature. To celebrate the book, The Bookcase of Wayzata and the Chambers Hotel are hosting a special cocktail reception and book signing 6 p.m. on Thursday, December 13. The hotel’s restaurant, Chambers Kitchen, also will offer a special tasting menu that evening, featuring recipes from the new cookbook. Tickets for the author reception are $40 and include wine, hors d’oeuvres, and a copy of Asian Flavors of Jean-Georges. The price for the three-course tasting menu is $45. Reservations for both events are required and may be made by calling Chambers at 612-767-6999 or the Bookcase of Wayzata at 952-473-8341.

****

On Saturday, you can head out to the Ridgedale Byerly’s in Minnetonka from 1 to 3 p.m., and see my pal Marjorie Johnson. She is out there to sign copies of her cookbook, Road to Blue Ribbon Baking, a collection of recipes including most of the baked goodies that have earned her thousands of ribbons at the Minnesota State Fair over the last thirty years. Now that she is a big late-night TV star, you should bring your camera. Mar-Jo (every hottie celebutante needs a cool moniker) was kind enough to shoot some stuff with me this last summer for Bizarre Foods, and it was a trip. This woman is completely her own person and negotiates life with a different operating system than the rest of us. She is one-of-a-kind, and if you haven’t met her yet, you should do it this weekend. If you do not know who she is, search her Tonight Show appearances with Jay Leno on YouTube.

Tell It Like It Is

Let’s set the record straight: Some restaurants slip through the cracks—the great neighborhood eateries that oftentimes cook food that can compete with the better restaurants in town for quality and composition. No excuses, but in the rush to chime in on current crops of new restaurants, the space problem (some magazines like ours only come out twelve times a year and only write about a relatively limited number of eateries) and the ongoing “best of” listings that websites, newspapers, weeklies, and monthlies churn out, which are sometimes restricted by subject, good restaurants that should be talked about sometimes are not. For example: Our August food issue cover story was about steak houses, our March issue was about local/fresh/best, and so on. So who gets hosed in all this? One of my favorite restaurants does! JP American Bistro is owned and operated by a chef who has set a standard of excellence in this town for more than a decade. J. P. Samuelson and his team do a fantastic job day in and day out despite the road construction outside their front door, which would have closed any other restaurant long ago. And every time we talk or write about another restaurant in town, the folks at JP chime in and voice their displeasure—so noted and corrected.

FYI, another restaurant in this category is Sapor.

Any others that you can think of?

****

You know how much I love press releases, especially the ones that make me laugh. The last two I got that fit the bill are excerpted below.

First:

Opening Thursday December 13, the Twin Cities Premier Gentlemen’s Club Schieks Palace Royale and Stone Management Group, LLC. will officially launch “The Kitchen” at Schiek’s serving dinner seven nights a week and lunch on Wednesdays thru Fridays.

Dinner selections will include 42oz USDA Prime Porterhouse, Kobe beef hotdog, colossal shrimp, lobster tails, burgers, lobster tacos and calamari; all affordably priced.  Patrons can also choose from a variety of steaks, chops, seafood, appetizers, soups, salads and desserts. The Kitchen will use the freshest ingredients and the menu will be diverse as to appeal to a large guest base.

Mike Stone, of Stone Management Group says “There’s a real opportunity to create the whole package for a true gentlemen’s club. Approximately 40% of our guests are couples and they have been suggesting this type of food concept for some time and the timing is perfect with the new ownership.” Mr. Stone adds “We wanted to create a safe and profession environment for our guests who want a gentlemen’s club experience and food is one part of that. The new owners have invested in everything from new furniture, new lighting, new sky suites, to community involvement. They have shown a commitment to serve our guests and the city of Minneapolis.”

Wow. Kobe hot dogs and community involvement? No way! And my all-time favorite BS press-release gimmick that I read approximately five times a week is, “the kitchen will use the freshest ingredients and . . . try to appeal to a large guest base.” Holy crap. Does someone actually get paid to write that junk? Is that the best point of difference the owners can come up with? Oy vey.

Second:

I am pleased to introduce Zahtar by Fhima, a new fine dining destination designed especially for our members. Located within the Eden Prairie Life Time Athletic Club, this new restaurant boasts the rich, beautiful finishes found within our health and fitness centers and offers a wide range of culinary delights and impeccable service.

I've personally designed each menu item, applying particular focus on creating exquisite meals that delight all of the senses. All items are zero trans fats and are made using the highest-quality ingredients.

From starting your day with organic eggs Benedict and a cup of fair trade organic coffee, to grabbing a bowl of lobster bisque or the absolute best sushi in town to enjoying a candlelit dinner over a Kobe beef filet mignon complemented by a vintage Bordeaux—Zahtar serves breakfast, lunch and dinner. Over 200 wines and specialty micro brews are also available.

Designed specifically with the comfort of you and your guests in mind, Zahtar by Fhima features both open and private fine-dining areas. Book our Chef's Room—complete with a full wall of organic wine - for your intimate gatherings.

Zahtar by Fhima is available to ALL Life Time members and their guests.

While our official Grand Opening will be in January, I invite you to experience our beautiful new restaurant beginning this Friday, November 30. Reservations are recommended.

Double wow! All five senses will be delighted? I can’t wait to hear my dinner. Does anyone ever read these things before they are sent out? Does anyone really want to brag about having the “absolute best sushi in town” before they are open? And there is that persnickety “highest-quality ingredients” phrase, which is backed up by the allure of the Kobe beef and vintage Bordeaux dinner that I always feel like whenever I am at the health club.

As my friend Dan always says, you can’t make this stuff up.

Christmas Time for the Jews

Here are some great holiday treats for everyone looking to celebrate the Festival of Lights. Hanukkah is a great time to share food with friends and family, and I have received dozens of e-mails asking for some great recipes, so here you go. I should tell you, the potato pancakes are so good that posting this recipe alone is a mitzvah of the highest order. Bubbelah, you should always trust me with this stuff. The chopped liver is the version I have been making for years and have named it after my grandmother who always made me a to-die-for chopped-liver dish every holiday.

Sephardic Eggplant Salad

3 large eggplants at 2–1/2 lbs.
2 T. olive oil
1/3 c. extra virgin olive oil
2 c. flat parsley leaves
2 t. dried oregano
4 chopped scallions
2 T. lemon juice
2 large garlic cloves
2 T. salt packed capers, refreshed and drained
2 ripe, diced, skinless, seedless tomatoes
6 pita bread discs cut in 1/8s and toasted

Brush the eggplant with the tablespoons of olive oil, and broil on a baking sheet for 25–30 minutes, turning often until skin blackens and eggplant is cooked.

Let it cool. Peel and chop meats, and reserve to a colander to drip off the excess liquids.

Place the oregano, scallions, garlic, and half the parsley in a food processor, and pulse until well processed. Fold into the drained eggplant, season with the oil, lemon, and vinegar.

Add the tomatoes.

Chop the remaining parsley and capers, and fold into the salad.

Season with salt and pepper, and serve with toasted or grilled pita.

Henriette’s Chopped Chicken Liver

2 lbs. fresh chicken livers
1/4 c. rendered chicken fat (schmaltz)
1 t. minced parsley
2 hard-boiled eggs
1 large yellow onion, minced
1 box matzo

Drain, and pat dry the livers.

Sauté onions in 1 T. schmaltz over medium heat until lightly caramelized (just past beige). Reserve.

Fry livers to medium (pink) in 1 T. schmaltz in the same pan over medium high heat.
Reserve livers.

Grind the liver and onions through a food mill by hand, or pulse in a food processor.
Add the parsley, grate the eggs, and fold in those as well. Add remaining schmaltz, or more, to taste. Season with salt and pepper.

Chill the chopped livers.

Serve with the matzo.

Potato Pancakes

3 large russet (Idaho-style, baking) potatoes
3 medium Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled, cooked, and diced
2 eggs, beaten
2 t. sea salt
1/2 t. ground white pepper
1/2 c. matzo meal
1 large yellow onion, grated
2 c. applesauce
1 c. sour cream
1/2 c. crème fraiche
1/2 lb. sliced, smoked salmon (I like the Ducktrap line.)
Oil for frying

Peel and grate the Russet potatoes. Rinse with cold water, and drain, gently pressing to relieve excess moisture. Mix half the potatoes with the mashed potatoes. Pulse the other half of the grated potatoes with the onions in the work bowl or food processor to form a paste. Do not over work.

Combine the two mixtures; season with the salt, pepper, eggs, and matzo meal.
Heat enough vegetable oil, in a large skillet over medium heat, to come up the sides of the pan 1/4 an inch.

When oil is 350 degrees, or a small pinch of batter instantly sizzles when dropped in, fry small 2- to 3-inch sized patties in batches until golden brown on both sides. Drain on paper towel.

Serve as a side dish or as a snack or appetizer. I think it is great to serve them with applesauce, sour cream, smoked salmon, and other treats on the side.

Noodle Kugel

1 lb. extra-wide egg noodles
4 c. cottage cheese
3 c. milk
2/3 c. melted butter
1 T. cinnamon
1 c. sugar
1/4 c. brown sugar
6 eggs
2 t. salt
1–1/2 c. sour cream
1/2 c. raisins
1/2 c. minced, dried apricots
1/2 c. sliced almonds

Cook, drain, and cool noodles.

Combine all the ingredients, reserving the almonds, brown sugar, and 1 t. of the cinnamon for sprinkling on the top of the casserole.
Butter a large pan or 2 small brownie pans.

Sprinkle kugel with the reserved ingredients, and bake at 350 degrees for 50–60 minutes until set and golden brown. Serves10–12

Stuffed Cabbage with Veal, Currants, and Pistachios

The Filling
3 lbs. ground veal
2 eggs
1–1/2 c. matzo meal or bread crumbs
1/2 c. currants
1/2 c. plain yogurt
1/2 c. minced parsley
2 T. ground cumin
2 cloves of minced garlic
1/3 c. toasted pine nuts
1 minced onion
1 lb. cooked, chopped spinach, drained very, very well
3 large heads Savoy cabbage, cleaned, leaves blanched and cooled

Combine all the ingredients except the cabbage. Roll 3 oz. of this stuffing mixture into the cabbage leaves, burrito style. Place all of the rolls 1/2 inch apart into 2 ovenproof dishes. Reserve.

The Sauce
24 oz. diced tomatoes in juice
4 T. minced, preserved lemons
2 minced cloves of garlic
1 t. saffron
1 c. white wine
2 minced shallots
6 leaves basil
2 diced carrots
2 pinches of chili flakes
1/2 c. orange juice
1 T. ground celery seed
1/2 c. toasted pistachios
2 T. butter

Place the butter in a large sauté pan over high heat. Add the shallots, lemon, garlic, carrots, and saffron, and sauté until glassy. Add the wine, and simmer to reduce by half. Add the herbs, spices, and tomato with the juices. Simmer for 15–20 minutes until almost dry.

Divide over the cabbage rolls, and cover with aluminum foil. Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees. Uncover, and bake for 10 more minutes.

Zagat and Other Craziness

The good folks at Zagat Survey came out with their "America's Top Restaurants" rankings a few weeks ago. There is no market here in Minnesota for a local guide of our own, so we get lumped into ‘other guides.’ According to those locals who filled out a Zagat form online, the number one rated restaurant in the Twin Cities is . . . drum roll, please . . . La Belle Vie. This is followed by 112 Eatery, Restaurant Alma, Bayport Cookery, Lucia's Restaurant, D'Amico Cucina, Fugaise, Manny's Steak House, and Heartland. Are you in agreement? Any of your faves missing from the list? Well, in an unranked listing of “Other Noteworthy Places," sits Bank, Chambers Kitchen, Cosmos, Cue, Dakota Jazz Club and Restaurant, The Oceanaire Seafood Room, Solera, St. Paul Grill, Town Talk Diner, and 20.21.

OK, I know how goofy these things really are, but off the top of my head, how can Masa, Spoonriver, I Nonni, Campiello, Broder’s Pasta Bar, Morton's, Zander, W. A. Frost, Punch OR ANY ETHNIC RESTAURANT not even make the list? I love Bayport, Lucia’s, and Manny’s, and they deserve the votes they got: People love these restaurants and with good reason. But would they be in your top twenty taking into account the Zagat formula? What about The St. Paul Grill? Fair service, gorgeous room, and terrible food. Cue? C’mon now people . . .

The Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy (IATP) is co-sponsoring the screening of a film we have touted loudly here on this site: King Corn will be shown at the Oak Street Cinema on December 7 at 7 p.m. The documentary film follows two college friends who explore their agricultural roots by moving to Iowa and growing a bumper crop of corn on one acre. As they follow their pile of corn into the food system, the film raises questions about what we eat and how we farm. King Corn cast members Ian Cheney and Curt Ellis will be at the screening. IATP President Jim Harkness will join Cheney and Ellis for a short discussion following the show.

So here is a good one. In Shiga Prefecture in Japan, the local government is asking the residents to help eliminate a pesky pest by eating it. Apparently, approximately fifty years ago, the Midwestern blue gill was introduced into Lake Biwa and is steadily killing off native species. Shiga’s website has recipes for bluegill that may amuse some of you local fishermen. Hit the button on the top right for the site to reload in English.

In last Monday’s New York Times, there was an excerpt from Andrew Revkin’s blog about whether or not “tourism focused on special places could threaten the spectacular ecosystems and landscapes that it aims to celebrate.” It also points out the recent Explorer tragedy as an example of the dangers involved but that part of the thrill of seeing places like this is that it involves some risk. Many of the posts on the blog came out in favor of banning travel to many of these types of sites. I think that’s crazy. There are dozens of ways to eliminate the human footprint on these natural wonders and still allow us to visit them. Look at the BWCA in our state for example. In fact, I would argue that exposing humankind to the wonders of the world will help us to understand how important conservation really is. Thoughts?

In the same issue of the paper, Katherine Ashenburg had a nice op-ed piece about hand washing, arguing that it is the most important, single act a person can perform to maintain their optimum health. Even the CDCP agrees. She says only 15 percent of people wash hands after using the john despite our obsession with hygienic products. I hung out in a restaurant bathroom the other day in NYC (please, no Larry Craig jokes) and counted the number of men who came in and took a leak. Fourteen guys came and went in the space of ten minutes. It turns out that Balthazar on a busy night compels a lot of dudes to hit the head. Anyway, only two washed up after taking care of business. Now I use Vicks Early Defense Foaming Hand Sanitizer on the road approximately ten times a day, and at home I use it whenever I remember to—I think in my old age I am turning into Howie Mandel. But in a cleanly appointed restaurant bathroom, why would so few people wash up? BTW, the Vicks stuff impedes bacteria for three hours and has a slick cucumber scent.